Why Mother’s Day Can Be Different This Year

Years ago, I decided Mother’s Day was not one of my favorite holidays. Do I sound strange? My husband was baffled. What’s not to love about breakfast in bed, a day off from dishes, with hugs, kisses, and gifts being showered upon you? The reality is I wanted to be cherished, but I also kind of want to be left alone. Which somehow felt wrong.

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The thing is, for me, Mother’s Day had become a day to celebrate the perfect life. And my life was anything but “perfect.” The day was riddled with guilt and unmet expectations. I know everyone means well, but how fun is it to celebrate motherhood when your life feels like it’s continually falling short?

When I became a mother I had this idea of what my life would be like. We all do to a certain extent. Our expectations come from many different places. From the examples of our family growing up (or lack of example), from movies, social media, the people around us, and our brains.

Sometimes our life is all we expected and other times it is not.

The irony of having these expectations is they do not magically change how our life is. Unmet expectations only create disappointment and resentment.

So am I saying we shouldn’t expect anything from our life as a mother?

You can expect whatever you want. But if motherhood doesn’t meet your expectations… why not stop expecting?

When I stopped expecting my life, my family, my husband to be a certain way — to be different than the way there were — I saw everything in a whole new way.

And do you know what happened?

I stopped focusing on the things I wished were different and started noticing what was good. I saw the funny, good-hearted man I married. The kind, hard-working, and loveable children we were raising. I saw the people they were becoming instead of who I wished they already were. My new perspective showed me hope and promise where before I only saw what it was lacking.

It turns out my life is more amazing than the imaginary one I dreamt up in my head.

How about trying something new this Mother’s Day? Try to not have any expectations about the day, your life, or anything in general. See what it feels like to focus on all that is good around you. Who knows, it might feel so good you’ll want to try it every day!

Be the JOY!

Lori

Whether you’re a mom, an aunt, a sister, or daughter — Enjoy the Mothers in your life!

Originally published at www.choosingwisdom.org

Author of Creating Positive Habits and Practicing Progress, Lori writes about choices inspiring greater joy and happiness. https://www.choosingwisdom.org/

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